Tracer Swallows White Liquid During Christmas
by Kream45
Summary: Tracer spends a major portion of Christmas on guzzling large quantities of a white fluid that was inside of some big, hard, round, brown, hairy objects.
1. chrstms

**/Have you ever had that feeling, when you forget to take your medicine in the morning and then you're having seizures all day? … Well it's not that I know anything about it. Anyway, Santa, please bring me VR goggles next year you prick. I need that hentai shit./**

Tracer was just walking along the street during Christmas, when suddenly, she noticed two suspicious men talking in the backstreet. She hid behind the wall and started eavesdropping.

"Are the preparations complete?" one of them asked, "The emperor cannot wait forever."

"Everything is set up according to plan." The other one said, "In two days, the transmitter will transfer Christmas onto the mothership, and the humanity will be stripped of the only joyous day in their lives."

Then they walked away, laughing.

" _Oh noes!"_ Tracer thought, _"Evil aliens pretending to be human males want to steal Christmas from us!"_

Tracer knew nobody would believe her, so she had to do this alone. She hid inside the trunk of their car and travelled with them far away from the city. When they stopped, she sneaked out and saw a big facility in the mountains.

She sneaked inside by murdering everyone on her way by strangling them with her asscheeks. Tracer was skilled in unarmed combat, so when one of the guards noticed her he yelled "bitch u ded" but she said "no" and kicked him in the ballz and he said "ouch" and that was his end.

Tracer entered the facility and saw a big, empty space. There was so much space you could fit an entire galaxy inside. Much like in Dva's asshole, that slut takes forty black ones up the S on daily basis.

But back to Tracer, she thought "Hey why am I here again" and then she saw a dozen of men standing in the middle of the room and she said "Oh shit that's right" and she approached them and engaged them into discussion.

"Who are you woman and why are your pants unzipped?" one of them asked.

"My name is Tracer, better known as Lena Oxton." She replied, "And my pants are unzipped to make it easier for you guys to gangbang me, as it is one hundred percent certain that it will happen and I just wanted to make it a bit easier for you."

"Wat."

"Nigga hold on." Another guy said, "That girl is responsible for multiple rapes on children, especially young white boys from rich families! I saw her on the news around May this year! She's also a confirmed racist and KKK member!"

"Holy shit, we've gotta call the cops!"

"No goddammit!" Tracer said, "That is in the past! Also, it is YOU who are the bad guys here. I overheard two of you, you said that you want to steal Christmas! I won't let you, you filthy aliens!"

"Bitch you crazy." Some black guy said but was immediately shot in the head by Tracer.

"Oopsies, my old habits came back." Tracer said and scratched her anus with her right toe, "Anyway, prepare to meet your makers!"

"WAIT!" one of those guys stopped her, "We're actually the official pretend-to-be-an-alien club. We pretend to be aliens."

"Oh okay, silly me." Tracer put away her guns, "I've just wasted five hours of my Christmas, great."

"Well we were planning on having a party together out in the woods together." Some Asian dude said, "Maybe you'd like to come with us? Even if you wanted to return to the city, it's a four hours way from here, Christmas would end by then."

"What attractions have you prepared?" Tracer asked.

"Playing with Playdoh, watching Minecraft let's plays and listening to the most beautiful Disney songs."

"Hmmm…" Tracer thought, "How about we play with my clit, watch blacked dot com and have intercourse while listening to Eurobeat?"

"That sounds fair enough."

So they went to the woods, twelve of those men and Tracer, and they did all that. They ended it all by attempting to beat the world record of the most dicks in one anus, but they forgot that there were twelve dicks and Dva had forty. So one of them¸ the Asian dude, used Shadow Clone Jutsu and made FIFTY clones and Tracer's ass was so wide you could fly an airplane inside it. They recorded it and they got bajillion dollars for beating the world record and Dva killed herself.

Tracer thanked them for the good fun and went back home, on foot, through the woods, even though she didn't know the way but whatever. But then suddenly a herd of reindeers flew above her and some fat dood grabbed her by the pussy and threw her inside his sleigh.

"What the- SANTA?!" Tracer exclaimed.

"That's right BITCH, the one and only!" he said, "We meet again, and this time, I need your help!"

"Of course! I will help you gladly!"

"One of my reindeers took a shit on one of the presents, that son of a bitch, and I don't have the time to get back and make a new one."

"So?"

"So I've been searching for a nice present and I finally found it."

"That's great, so what do you want me to do then?"

"Bitch YOU are that present!"

"nigga wat"

"You're a perfect present for anyone."

"Bitch you were flying around the planet searching for a present while you could just get back and make a new one, or literally grab anything and say it's a present, but you had to abduct me, m I rite?"

"That's true."

"None of your reindeers actually took a shit on any of your presents, you wanted to grab me from the start."

"Smart girl."

"Where we going?"

"Next stop: the middle of a fucking poor-ass African village full of black people with really thicc shlongs."

And then Santa dropped Tracer from the sleigh and looked down to watch her fall to her death but he didn't watch the road (or sky whatever) and crashed into a plane and he exploded.

Tracer fell into a puddle of dirty water. She got up and took a look around. Everywhere she looked, there were black people, her most feared kind of people. She hated black, because they weren't white.

"Are you okay?" some black man asked.

"Get your BLACK hands away from me you NIGGER! WAAAAAHHH!" She screamed in fear, even though nobody was touching her.

"We can help you-"

"WAAAAAGHHH!" Tracer screamed, "Don't come near be you BLACKS!"

Tracer could take on a black guy or two, but there were hundreds, hundreds, millions, billions of them. It was like the entire Africa gathered at the spot she landed.

Finally Tracer calmed down after being told that there were no black people around, and everything she saw was just her imagination.

She was taken into a hut (probably made of dried shit and hay), and taken care of. She was being fed with bananas and coconuts.

"How the fuck am I supposed to eat that?" she asked.

"Oh, that's right, I'll call some strong man who can open that for you." A black girl who was feeding her said.

"Oh noo, please don't." Tracer said, "Black women are fine I guess, but black guys are the worst. Don't call anybody."

"Uhh, okay lol, then how are you going to open that coconut?"

"I just remembered a trick from the past, just watch."

And then she pulled out her tounge which started twisting sonic-fast and she made a hole inside of the coconut.

"Holy shit, that's so cool!" the black woman said.

"I know right? I used it many times to…" but then Tracer stopped, when she remembered that not everyone should hear about her adventures with adolescent boys and her special ass-drilling massage she offered them in exchange for sandwiches. "… let's just say it has some uses."

"Well drink now, you're probably super thirsty."

And then Tracer drank the coconut milk.

"How is it? You like it?"

"…" Tracer thought, "So what, now I'm supposed to drink a lot of coconut milk because the story's description would suggest that?"

"That… was the initial plan, yeah."

"Fuck that, I've got an even better idea."

Tracer walked out of the hut and shouted:

"HEY YOU BLACKS!"

The black people looked at her.

"Even though I despise you all, on this beautiful Christmas night, I should be nice to you all!"

The black people smiled.

"And that's why we're gonna have a GANGBANG!"

The black people stopped smiling.

"Don't you think that's disrespectful?" one of them asked, "I mean, it's not like all black people would fuck just anyone."

"Whoever cums the most in my ass gets a FREE WATERMELON HOLY SHIT!"

Then all of the black people jumped on her and penetrated her butthole. Then they all came inside her at once and she was full of semen. Literally just so much semen that it sank into the ground and made Africa fertile, no more deserts or badlands.

And that's how Tracer ended world hunger by having a massive gangbang.

 **THE END**

Much thought process went into writing this story. Life of an artist is a toughie. Merry Christmas everyone, and I wish you that you will find a girl/boy who will love you the way you are and will gladly take a shit on your chest/face/whatever. Or actually no, scat is gross. Fisting is cool though. I wish you a lot of fisting, done to your anus on the year of 2018. Kream out!


	2. Tracer's Apology

**/Holy smokes the outrage is real. I know that Tracer is very racist, but come on, don't hate on me. It's not my fault that Blizzard has designed her character this way. Anyway, here's an unexpected follow-up./**

Tracer woke up and checked her Facebook. She was very displeased to see that everyone wanted to kill her for being racist.

"What the fuck, what's their problem?" she thought, "Can't you even say the n word once or twice and not be hated by the society?"

She then saw the most heartbreaking comment:

"This is outrageous, you're outraging me, I'm outraged. Not everyone using the Internet is white. We don't want to see racism. You have a serious problem."

Tracer gasped and grabbed her chest, because she was about to have a heart attack. She realized that racism is absolutely unacceptable. She cried for about an hour and then she wanted to kill herself, but she decided to go to Lucio first and ask him for an opinion.

She knocked on his door, and after a few seconds Lucio appeared in front of her.

"Oh, hi Tracer!" he said, "What's up?"

"Everyone hates me for being racist and I don't know what I can do about it." Tracer replied.

"Oh, that's terrible." Lucio said, "You wanna come in? We can discuss it over some snack."

"Thank you."

And so she walked inside his house. They entered the living room and Tracer sat down on a sofa. She noticed a few sports cups on a shelf.

"Hey Lucio, where did you get those?" she asked.

"Oh, those? Three of them are for basketball tournaments and the other two are for rapping competitions."

"Wow, I didn't know you could rap."

"Come one, Tracer, I'm bla-" Lucio said and then stopped, "I mean, I trained with my friends from the hood."

"Cool."

"Anyway, you want something to drink?" Lucio asked and went to the kitchen.

"Sure, what do you have?"

"Umm…" Lucio opened the fridge, "I've got milk, you want some?"

"Uhh… you have anything else?"

"I've got some Kool-Aid."

"… anything else?"

"… tap water?"

"… Kool-Aid, please."

And so they sat down and sipped Kool-Aid.

"So, tell me about your problem."

"For the past two years, I've been posting racist stuff on my Facebook, and now people say that I'm racist and I should tag racist stuff and not everyone is white and I have problems etc."

"Well, that sounds absolutely terrible." Lucio stated, "The fact that my friend has been posting racist stuff for all those years."

"So you're also against me?"

"Well… I'm black after all."

"ALRIGHT! I admit it, I was a piece of shit, but I have changed. I want people to like me :c "

"Hmmm... how about you publically admit that you were indeed racist, but now you aren't?"

"This is such a good idea!"

"Well, before you go, maybe you want to eat something delicious?"

"What do you have in mind?"

And then Lucio pulled a string that was hanging from the ceiling, and suddenly, a big, juicy watermelon popped up on the table.

They ate the watermelon and then Tracer went to prepare everything.

 **Five hours later, 11:30 PM, Africa**

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have gathered here in the village of the Ugabuga tribe in the middle of Africa, because Tracer from Overwatch will publically apologize black people for making fun of them." A TV reporter said.

Everyone in the world was watching the transmission. Tracer was preparing behind the curtain.

She then walked out and approached the podium.

"Hello everyone!" she said, "Well, first I wanted to apologize for saying that black people are dark as night. Also… why is there only like five people here? I thought I invited more people."

"Oh, that's right." Her assistant said, "Guys, turn on the reflectors."

And then it turned out that there was about two million black people in front of her.

"Uh.. uhhgh… holy shit." Tracer got scared and approached her assistant. "I can't do that, this is too much."

"You have to do it!" he whispered, "Embrace the BLACK!"

Tracer breathed in and approached the podium again.

"Well.. uh… I wasn't expecting that." She said and looked at her notes, "Umm, right. So, I also wanted to apologize for saying that African huts where black people live are made of dried shit. I mean, that's rude."

"Yeah, hahaha…" some black person laughed, "That would be ridiculous…"

And the rest of the black people laughed too, but it felt a bit fake.

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you a story of why I used to be racist. You see, when I was five, I was raped by a group of black people."

And then she told the story. Everyone cried when she described her fear and pain.

"… and then I felt something big, hard and BLACK entering my asshole." She said and everyone gasped, "… well anyway, now I know that I shouldn't judge the entire race for the sins of a few people."

The people who were gathered there started talking among each other.

"Maybe she's not like, racist, she's just traumatized."

"That explains why she was racist."

"At least now we know that her hatred towards black people had at least some basis."

Tracer noticed that people were smiling and her assistant showed her a thumbs up. She was glad everyone was on her side with that.

And then some faggot entered the scene.

"Who are you?" Tracer asked.

"I'm a police officer. I worked on the case of your rape and for some unexplainable reason I'm here to share the details with you, because you were too young back then." He said.

"Oh, alright, tell us."

"You see…" he scratched his head, "The people who raped you were white."

Everyone gasped, including Tracer.

"Wha-? What? How?!"

"They were just wearing masks to look like black people, we didn't find out why."

Tracer opened her mouth but **SPAGHETTI** I mean words wouldn't come out.

"Tracer, your speech!" her assistant said.

"Oh, yes." She said, "Now that I know that my oppressors were white, I no longer have any reason to hate black people. I now hate white people."

"That's right! Wait, what?" her assistant said to himself. He was white.

Then everyone got super happy, including all the people in front of TV screens. Because it's okay to hate white people.

On the next day… BIG NEWS!

"Good morning people, this is Bullshit TV and I'm John."

"And I'm Monica. Today's subject is racism."

"It has been decided that if you write racist jokes anywhere, you're automatically racist and you have problems."

"Isn't that funny, John?"

"What do you mean, Monica?"

"The fact that you can't even write racist jokes, or else you'll be called a racist."

"I know, right? Because it's not like racist jokes have been in movies/TV shows/music/books/games/comics/skits since the beginning of time, right?"

"That's true, and also, there is not a single reason for why racist jokes are so popular. I mean, it's not like it's meant to be funny and not taken seriously, m I rite?"

"I agree with you, Monica. Well anyway, on the next Pussies Get Offended By Anything Show, we're gonna talk about 9/11."

"Hahaha!"

"Ehehehehe!"

 **In the meantime…**

Mercy was watching a video on blacked dot com. She was so horny, but she was also tired of using vibrators, so she wrote a comment.

"Looking for a nice, chocolate boy to spend a few nights with me, maybe something more? ;) My pussy is like a watermelon – juicy and refreshing!"

And then through the door, windows and through the roof, white women rampaged in.

"What was THAT supposed to mean?!" one of them shouted, "You're being racist! We're gonna FUCK YOU UP!"

"What the fuck, get out of my house, you hoes!" Mercy said, "Or else I'm gonna call the police!"

And then someone rang at the doorbell.

"Oops, let me open that." Mercy said and opened the door. Some black dude was standing in front of her.

"Hi!" he said, "We came because of your comment :) "

"You mean, _you_ came, right?"

"No, look behind me."

There was a whole line of black men, reaching all the way to the other town.

"Oh, umm…" Mercy looked at the women who just destroyed her house, "Those women say that comment was racist."

"What women?" black people went inside and the women got really scared, "Excuse me ladies, but could you please get out? We're here to have fun with Mercy."

"But… she's racist."

"Who cares? If what she said about her pussy is true, we don't care."

"c:" Mercy smiled.

The women went home, sad that they didn't destroy any racist scum that day, and Mercy had a good time with all those thousands and thousands of black men. Because black men have really large penises.

 **THE END**

"It's not Tracer who's racist, neither is Mercy, YOU are. You have a serious problem, and this chapter proves that, you racist scum."

"Instead of blaming Tracer of Mercy, you need to embrace the fact that you're racist, obviously."

"You're obviously a white man, obsessed with black people, that's sick."

"I'm sick of having to see racism everywhere I look on the Internet. When I clicked on this story, I expected everything that a shitpost should have: shit jokes, no logic or sense, gangbangs, people killing each other and casting spells that summon entire armies of gorillas, but NOT racism, oh noo. Racism is too much, I don't want racism. I want to read shitposts that are funny, but not at the price of having to include racism. Make your shitposts purposely less funny, so that people who get offended too easily like me can enjoy them."

"You are sick, not only you make fun of black people, now you're making fun of people who defend black people. You're absolutely disgusting, and I'm contacting the moderators now to ban you."

Those are now the official Kream45's Shitpost Review Templates. Remember to always get offended by shitposts. Especially, if you ever see a single use of the word "black", the story is absolutely racist, and you should tell the writer that he's sick and he should tag racist content.

(ok I'm fucking dying at this point XDD I can't XD ehehehehe)


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